Skip to main content
SFU Student

Student hiding behind a pile of books
There are a thousand problems that we face as we grow into adulthood, and there are a million solutions available if we are willing to communicate.

‘Do you want to have dinner together after class?’

‘Oh sorry I can’t, I have another class afterwards.’

‘That’s ok, I’ll be rushing to my night shift after dinner anyways.’

Young adults’ lives are a bit of a balancing act. As we enjoy our first taste of adulthood and university life, more and more things begin to compete for our attention. School, social life, family, work, health…Suddenly, we need to choose priorities when each and every aspect of our lives may seem as important as another. With so many things competing for our time and attention, it’s easy to wonder whether a balanced life is an option or a fantasy.

Family and society play a huge role in our lives, and there are growing expectations from both as we grow older. Independence, maturity, and responsibility are all expected to be maintained once teenagers enter university. And yet, parents still have more control over university students’ everyday life when compared to adults in their thirties or forties. Perhaps because of this, we have become confused about how to share, express, and communicate our feelings in healthy ways. We strive to digest, conceal, and bottle up all the negative emotions and unsightly sides of our lives in order to prove a point: We have our life together, we are in control. We are mature, independent adults.

By trying our best to prove this, we can become prone to turning down all the helping hands that are offered to us. We aren’t good at accepting help.

This isn’t necessary, though. Independence and maturity are not only about doing things on our own. It’s about knowing our abilities and our weaknesses, and knowing what is manageable and what is not. Each individual may have distinct experiences about the same event: some may find university fun, some may find it stressful, and others may feel as if the university experience is forced. We are all entitled to our unique feelings; however, this is also what makes communication so important, as others may have no clue what you are experiencing. Different groups that take part in our life – family, friends, project partners, professors – may put more pressure on us without acknowledging how full our plate already is. We don’t always have the skills or the courage to let people know we are struggling, or we may not have learned how to say “no.”

Although some people may not be as understanding as others, a lot of the time we only need one or two people’s genuine understanding to turn a whole situation around. A conversation with someone who is skilled in listening and thoughtful with advice can show us that there are options, that there is no “right” decision, and that we can learn new skills to be resilient when faced with difficult situations.   

There are a thousand problems that we face as we grow into adulthood, and there are a million solutions available if we are willing to communicate. Let’s take the initiative to start letting our inner voices be heard and talk about our major sources of stress. The transition into adulthood is filled with challenges, and it is so important to learn about ourselves, and to listen to each other. Let’s begin talking about our stress, our problems, and our fears as university students and young adults.

Beyond the Blog

SFU Student
Shanice Li is a third-year student here at SFU. She enjoys writing to express herself and have a positive effect on others. Her interests also include travelling, listening to music, and watching movies.
visibility  136
Mar 27, 2018

You Might Like These... Mental Health, Workplace Success

A man sitting at the surrey campus
My Boss Hates Me and I Can’t Do Anything Right: Common Thinking Traps and How to Avoid Them

SFU Health and Counselling Services offers suggestions on how to adopt a more balanced way of dealing with potentially negative situations to help avoid stress, anger and other negative feelings or reactions.

A woman reaching out and touching the shoulder of a man
Empathy for Personal Growth and Beyond

Students in counselling psychology become very familiar with the term “empathy."The message that empathy is the cornerstone to successful therapy is pounded into your brain until you stop asking how or why it’s important, and start accepting it as a fact.

People on Mount Fuji
Re-Entry Culture Shock: The Sojourner’s Homecoming

Trying to decide if going on an International Co-op Placement is right for you?  Follow these words of advice so you can make a well informed decision.

You Might Like These... Workplace Success

Picture of a woman
When to Say “No”

Do you have people knocking at your door, asking for your expertise? Did you want to say yes to all of them, but didn’t know if you could handle all of it? Say “no” now, so that you can say yes to the things you truly want later.

Checklist
How to Get Started on a Routine: Recipe for Wellness

Through creating an efficient routine, you can better accomplish things that need to be done within a shorter amount of time and allow yourself to do activities that you enjoy doing. Read the Health Peers’ blog to learn their recipe on how to build a routine to better manage your stress and wellbeing!

Student in graduation gown looking forward
My Mindset Graduating in a Pandemic

Be it if you’re graduating or getting ready to start a new semester at SFU, there’s a lot of uncertainty around what will happen next. Earth Sciences student Klaus McCloud shares his top three tips of how he maintains a positive mindset while getting ready to graduate from SFU.